No is the most exhausting word

I've been thinking about songs lately. Particularly while I stand in the shower trying to block out the screams of my two boys wrestling in the hallway. Remember that old Blood, Sweat and Tears song: One is the loneliest number? And that old Elton John classic, Sorry seems to be the hardest word? Well - other than dating myself terribly by not including any songs from any decade other than the Seventies - I have a new one to add to the list: No is the most exhausting word. Yes, I've been thinking of putting it out on a single for all the other parents of two year olds, but I'm afraid their buying power couldn't possibly compete with the latest American Idol. By the way, do they still have singles these days? It's sad that I don't know the answer to that. I am way too old for all of this.

Anyway, no is all that I hear these days. No. No. No. No juice. No nap. And the all time favorite - No, Mama. That one is particularly useful and covers a multitude of possible situations. For a child who is just shy of his second birthday and has a vocabulary of maybe a couple of dozen words, it is amazing what he can accomplish with that simple phrase.

No, Mama can translate to No, I really don't think I want to stop jumping off the back of the couch and attempting to do a Greg Louganis dive on to the cushions, Mama.

Or perhaps the No, Mama that means, No, Mama, I think I will chase the kittens while screaming at the top of my lungs and brandishing a toy spear. What's the matter with that?

Or the most common No, Mama on these hot summer days : No, Mama, don't try and get between me and that gallon of ice cream. I have a spoon and I'm not afraid to use it.

What happened to my sweet little boy? He went to bed one night and woke up a different child. A stubborn, bad tempered child who lives to cause me as much chaos and discomfort as he possibly can. Unfortunately he is too well established in this household for me to auction him off on Ebay without someone noticing. More's the pity. I know, that probably sounds terrible to you, doesn't it? If it does, you obviously do not have children or if you do they are old enough that these horrible days have become a hazy memory. For those of us still living it, it is tough. Patton said War is hell. He obviously had never lived with a two year old.

Yes, I do think that No is the most exhausting word. It must be. I hear it a hundred times a day, and I am one exhausted woman.